Surviving & thriving as a Highly Sensitive/Neurodivergent* parent    

Putting into practice our ideas and wishes about how we want to be as parents is always an ongoing learning process. This is especially true if you identify as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), as I do.

Parenting as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

The term HSP was developed by psychologist Elaine Aron around 30 years ago to describe people with increased sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. In short: we feel, think, and experience life deeply.

Parenting is demanding for everyone — socially, emotionally, and energetically. For HSPs, this can be magnified. The constant sensory input, heightened empathy with our children’s emotions, and the physical closeness of early parenting years can easily lead to overwhelm. Having experienced this myself, I’ve come to value the unique gifts I bring to parenting as an HSP while also learning how to work with (and sometimes soften) the challenges.

Here are some of the things I’ve found most helpful:

Accepting who we are

It’s essential to see parenting through the lens of sensitivity. Our experience will differ from others — and that’s okay. Looking after ourselves properly enables us to look after our children. Sometimes this involves reframing our identity and mustering courage to fully embrace who we are. Self-kindness and compassion are vital.

Valuing our sensitivity

High sensitivity brings many gifts to parenting. HSP parents can be deeply empathic, creative, intuitive, nurturing, and attuned to subtle cues — qualities that help foster strong, meaningful relationships with our children. Recognising and valuing these traits allows us to see what we uniquely contribute as parents.

Listening to our needs

To prevent overwhelm, it helps to understand how we function best and make choices accordingly. This might mean:

• Reducing overstimulating environments

• Creating routines or rhythms that bring calm and stability

• Delegating tasks or asking for support

• Avoiding overscheduling and activities that deplete us

Looking after ourselves

Self-care isn’t optional for HSP parents — it’s essential. Downtime helps us re-centre and regulate our nervous systems. This might look like:

• Having a quiet corner at home to retreat to

• Practising mindfulness

• Walking the dog alone

• Engaging in a relaxing hobby

Personally, I’ve found that building small daily and weekly practices of self-care, and prioritising them consistently, has been crucial to my wellbeing as a parent.

These strategies take time to identify and embed. You can explore them alone, but sometimes it’s deeply helpful to do so with someone else. As a therapist and healer who has been on this journey for over 10 years of parenting, I offer a safe, compassionate space to explore what you need as a person, a parent, and an HSP.

Just as we nurture our children with love and care, we can (and must) learn to do this for ourselves too.

*As I write this, I’m aware of ongoing discussions around the overlap between HSP and autism. I believe this is a deeply personal journey of identity for each individual. What feels important is to honour that both involve unique sensitivities and nervous system differences.